Extra resources to help

This list of resources has been compiled to help complement your therapy journey. Books can provide valuable psycho-education, helping to better understand the challenges you may be facing. However, neither books nor AI can truly get to know you, form a meaningful relationship with you, or help you to recognize the unique patterns in your behaviors that are shaped by family history. They also can’t necessarily help you identify and articulate your emotions, ensure effective communication, or heal attachment wounds through a therapeutic relationship. Most importantly, they can’t gently guide you toward areas of growth. While both books and AI can offer insights that might resonate with the joy of learning and educating yourself, they lack the ability to address the unconscious issues that may be contributing to your pain. They won’t point out subtle behaviors or reactions you may not be fully aware of, or those you may be justifying or rationalizing. For these reasons, neither should ever replace the nuanced, personal work of therapy with a qualified licensed psychologist.

note * indicate my most recommended books

How to set healthy boundaries

• *Unfuck your boundaries. Build better relationships through consent, communication, and expressing your needs, by Faith G. Harper
• *Set boundaries, find peace; a guide to reclaiming yourself, by Nedra Glover Tewwab

Trauma/Attachment issues

• *The Narcissist in Your Life, by Julie L. Hall
• * It's not you; Identifying and healing from narcissistic people, By Ramani Durvasula
• *Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Lindsay C. Gibson
• *Children of the Self Absorbed, by Nina W. Brown
• *The Body Keeps The Score, by Bessel Van Der Kolk
• Healing from Trauma: A survival’s guide to understanding your symptoms and reclaiming your life, by Jasmin Lee Cori
• *Loving like you mean it: Use the power of emotional mindfulness to transform your relationships, by Ronald J. Fredrickson (This is a great read for everyone! This book helps us better understand why we feel or behave the way we do.) (AEDP)
• *Living like you mean it: Use the wisdom and power of your emotions to get the life you really want, by Ronald J. Fredrickson.  (great book!) (AEDP)
• *Wired for Love, by Stan Tatkin (this is a good book for couples or anyone wanting to learn more about attachment style)
• *How to be an Adult, by David Richo
• Codependent no more; how to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself, by Melody Beattie

Attachment in relationships

• Secure Relating; Holding your own in an insecure World, by Sue Marriott & Ann Kelley
• Anxious Attachment Recovery and Healing; Letting go of anxiety and overthinking in relationships and becoming more secure about you and the one you love

Memoirs about trauma

• Running with scissors, by Augusten Burroughs.
• The problem with men: Insights on overcoming a traumatic childhood from a world renown psychologist, by Ronald Levant 
• I'm glad my mom died, by Jeanette McCurdy
• The glass castle, byJeanette Walls
• *Educated, by Tara Westover
• Shadow daughter: a memoir of estrangement, by Harriet Brown (this is a supportive book for those who choose to leave toxic relationships with caregivers).

Depression/Anxiety

• It’s not always depression, by Hillary Jacobs-Hendel (AEDP)
• The worry trap; How to free yourself from worry and anxiety using acceptance and commitment therapy by Chad Lejeune

Sex/Intimacy

• Desire:An inclusive guide to navigating libido differences in relationships by  Jennifer A. Vencill and Lauren Fogel Mersy

Sexual Abuse of Men

• Abused Boys:the neglected victims of sexual abuse, by Mic Hunter

Abuse In A Relationship (Mental, Physical, or Sexual)

• *Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men, by Lundy Bancroft (this can apply to all genders, but the book is written about men specifically).

Parenting

• Learn How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
• Learn How To Talk So Teens Will Listen, and Listen So Teens Will Talk, by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

Divorce & Children

• Divorce Poisen by Dr. Richard A. Warshak (How it can impact children of parents who are divorced)

Introversion

• *Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking, by Susan Cain

Loss and Mourning

• On Grief and Grieving, by  Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D., and David Kessler
• Life Lessons; Two experts on death and dying teach us about the mysteries of life and living, by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D., and David Kessler
• You can heal your heart; Finding peace after a breakup, divorce, or death, by Louise Hay and David Kessler
• What dying people want: Practical wisdom for end of life, by David Kohl
• Final gifts, by Maggie Callanan & Patricia Kelley
• On being with the dying, by Joan Halifax

Learning Compassion for yourself

• A year of living with more compassion, 52 quotes weekly & compassion practices, by Richard Fields, Ph.D.

For Partners of someone with Bipolar Disorder

• Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, by Julie Fast et.al

For Partners of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

• Talking to a loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder, by Jerold Kreisman, M.D.
• Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, by Shari Y. Manning
• Stop Walking on Eggshells, by Paul T. Mason & Randi Kreger

ADHD

• Delivered from Distraction; Getting the most out of life with Attention Deficit Disorder, by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., And John J. Ratey, M.D.
• Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, Russell Barkley
•  It Is Hard To Make a Difference If You can’t Find your Keys, by Marilyn Paul.
• The ADHD effect on marriage, by Melissa Orlov
• The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD by Melissa Orlov and Nancie Kohlenberger
• Married to Distraction: How to Restore Intimacy and Strengthen Your Partnership in an Age of Interruption by Edward M. Hallowell, Sue Hallowell, and Melissa Orlov
• Loving Someone with Attention Deficit Disorder: A Practical Guide to Understanding Your Partner, Improving Communication & Strengthening Your Relationship, by Susan Tschudi
• When an Adult You Love Has ADHD: Professional Advice for Parents, Partners, and Siblings, by Russell Barkley
  

Working on how to be a better antiracist

• *How to be an antiracist, by Ibram X. Kendi
• So you want to talk about race, by Ijeoma Oluo
• Me and white supremacy: combat racism, change the world, and become a good ancestor, by Kayla F. Saad .  This is a book meant to be used like a workbook where you get exercises to do and journal responses to create daily/weekly to do the work.

Social Media

• Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now, by Jaron Lanier (This is a great book about helping people understand how and why social media may be affecting your mental health more than you realized).

WEBSITES

• mindful.org
• aedpinstitute.org (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)
• APA.org (American Psychological Association)
• ABPP.org (American Board of Professional Psychology)
• Psypact.org
• Seattleinsight.org (for meditation courses)